


Then and Now

by Swood3133



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Beating, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Blood, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Henry Bowers Being an Asshole, Hospitals, Injured Eddie Kaspbrak, M/M, One Shot, Protective Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22428058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swood3133/pseuds/Swood3133
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak escaped the sewers and survived the fight for his life in the hospital. Now was just the crucial part of waiting for him to wake up. The events of the past couple of days have taken their toll on Richie and as he sits at Eddie's bedside, he thinks about the past and all they have been through together. He thinks about another situation that had him almost as afraid as he had been mere hours ago.He doesn't know what the future holds for them, but he can only hope that Eddie will still want to be his friend after his feelings are revealed.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 6
Kudos: 86





	Then and Now

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for clicking despite the terrible summery!! Hope you enjoy the story!

Richie stared longingly at the man in the hospital bed before him. Eddie, his best friend since day one, beaten and bloodied nearly to death.  _ Nearly. _ That was a very important word, Eddie  _ nearly  _ died, he didn't actually die. 

_ Nearly _ had not been enough to take Eddie away from him. 

Oh, how close had it been though. The poor man had been skewered by that stupid, evil fucking spider-clown. Richie couldn't even imagine the pain he had to go through before unconsciousness took him over. He only wished he could have been some relief to the poor man. 

However, he looked calm and peaceful in the hospital bed. He was finally stable and breathing on his own after a week on the brink of death. It was the only positive sign the doctors have had since he had been brought into the hospital. Before that, everyone believed he wasn't going to get any better and were just waiting for him to pass on his own. 

Eddie surprised everyone when he started breathing again. The doctors now believed that Eddie was going to make a full recovery. It would take some time, but he would be okay. The thought itself brought Richie to tears. He wiped them away furiously if Eddie were to wake up right now, Richie didn't want him to see him cry. 

They had been through so much together, it was hard to imagine that it had taken this long for something to really take one of them out like this. With Henry Bowers, Eddie's asthma, facing IT the first time and Richie's general recklessness, it was crazy it had taken this long. 

Sure, both of them had been in the hospital, well  _ Eddie _ had been in the hospital. Richie had only gone in for broken bones or the one time he had been very ill with a very bad case of the flu. Eddie however, was almost always in the hospital, sometimes critically. Eddie had so much to deal with throughout his life, apart from all of the physical things he faced. Because of Mrs. K being the awful person she was, Eddie also faced a lot of mental problems and ended up in the hospital a couple times because of panic attacks. 

But at the time, they always knew they would pull through, neither of them had ever come this close. Neither of them were just waiting to die as the others said goodbye. Now that Richie's full memories had returned, he could remember all the time that they spent in the Derry hospital. When Richie was sick, Eddie came every day to see him and make sure he wasn't lonely. Richie chuckled at the memory of Eddie with three face masks on, the fear of germs ingrained in him by his mother. 

Seeing Eddie lying there, bandages all over him, cords running everywhere, oxygen tube in his nose, and a patch of gauze against his cheek, made him look so much younger. It reminded him when all those times when they were younger, watching over Eddie as he healed from various tramas.

Richie was trying his best to remain calm and collected, but the sight of Eddie was injured was heartbreaking. He was also still very angry at all of the other losers. They had wanted him to leave Eddie there, in the sewer, dying, in pain, and alone. They cared more about getting themselves out of there instead of caring for their terribly injured friend. 

Richie understood that they were scared and didn't want to die, but at the same time, Eddie didn't want to die either, but they were just willing to leave him down there. He was sure that if any of them were in Eddie's position, they would have wanted their friends to get them out of the disgusting sewer, or at least  _ try. _

Richie, as soon as Eddie was… impaled, knew that they would either be leaving together or not at all. Richie would not let the Neibolt house be Eddie's final resting place, he would never leave the man to die alone. If he couldn't save him, he could at least give him a proper burial. Thankfully, the coffin and the hole will not be necessary this time around. 

The other losers had come by every once in a while but never stayed around long because they couldn't take the glares from Trashmouth Tozer. Richie would never stop them coming to see the injured man, it was their right. But that doesn't mean he had to be nice with them while they were there. He had yet to leave the hospital room since Eddie had arrived, so the chances of them coming for a visit while he wasn't there was slim, so they haven’t been around much. 

Richie knew that in the end he really had no reason to be angry. They were all afraid for their lives, and they thought Eddie had already died. That was no excuse in his opinion though; Eddie was their best friend, there should be no reason to stop trying to save him.

Richie felt a tear fall down his face, and this time he let it. Richie started to think back to all the times that Eddie was hurt and Richie was there for him. The times he thought Eddie might not make it, and times that they almost didn't. 

Richie thought back to one of those times that made him realize that he actually loved Eddie more than a friend. While it was a horrible memory, it gave him a realization of what he really wanted and how he sincerely felt about his best friend. One of the biggest events in his whole childhood. Well, besides fighting it for the first time, that is. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The summer before the losers faced IT and a few weeks after Georgie had gone missing, there was only Bill, Richie, Stan, and Eddie. The originals, ‘The Founders’ as Richie would later call them. They were calm and relaxed, and had no idea about how terrifying but also uniting the next summer would be. 

Eddie and Richie were on their way to the Quarry from school; a busy day of school work and dealing with Henry Bowers. Stan and Bill were still at school, working on a project for a world history class that they had together. Bill was still struggling with Georgie going missing so it wasn't very often that Bill would come out with them anyways. All of his spare time was spent looking for his little brother, not that Richie blamed him. He's sure he would do the same if he had a brother. 

“You guys really are the losers, working on a project while we get to go to the Quarry and have fun!” Richie had laughed when the other two told them that they would not be able to make it. Eddie had chuckled along with him before dragging the lanky kid out of the library as the librarian shushed them. “See you later losers!” Eddie laughed as they ran towards the school front entrance.

Richie and Eddie were just passing the kissing bridge, having an argument about who was the better superhero. Richie was sure he was winning, but in all honesty, Eddie was just letting Richie talk about how amazing Superman was because he liked to hear the boy talk about something that he was so passionate about. Which was pretty much how Richie talked about everything. 

“But he's just SO COOL Eddie!! Like do you even understand how amazing he is! I would give anything to fly. Eds, I could take us to the Quarry so fast! We would never have to walk again!”

“Richie… if you're the only one that can fly, how would I get there?”

“Well I would carry you Eddie Spaghetti,” Eddie cringed at that. “Or! We could make you a harness that you would sit in while I fly us around!”

“And how would that be attached, Trashmouth? That would be so unsafe! What if I fell or you dropped me? I could die, Richie!!! Not to mention all the bugs that would fly in our faces! Flying is literally the worst idea ever!” 

Richie rolled his eyes at his friends panic, “I haven't worked out all the kinks yet Edward, we would figure it out. Probably wrap you in bubble wrap or something,”

Eddie scoffed at him, rolling his eyes. His eyes strayed over to the wooden barrier where people had been carving names and initials for years. He hadn't realized that he had stopped walking until he heard Richie speak up from a few paces in front of him. 

“What are you doing Ed-stick?” He asked making his way over to the other kid, also staring at the board in front of them. 

“Stop calling me stupid names, Trashmouth,” Eddie said emotionlessly. 

Riche laughed to himself, “Yeah I’ll have to admit, Ed-Stick is not one of my best, we’ll have to get rid of that one,” He joked. 

“Get rid of all of them,” Eddie suggested. 

“No can do, Eds. So what are you looking at this hunk of termite food for? See your name somewhere?” Richie said as he walked towards it, kicking the piece of wood. Eddie shrugged to himself, running his fingers over the names and letters carved into it. 

“Do you think my name will ever be on here?” He asked, mumbling under his breath. Richie was caught off guard by the question. Eddie had never really been concerned about his love life and had never had any crushes, well any crushes that he told Richie about at least. And Eddie told him everything. Richie thought about his approach carefully, he didn't want to joke and hurt Eddie’s feelings, the kid needed comfort more than laughs right now. 

“Of course Eddie, what person on this entire planet wouldn't want some of Dr. Kaspbrak? They would have to be blind  _ and  _ stupid, Eds!!” he said, smacking Eddie on the back of his shoulder. 

Eddie smiled up at his best friend, surprised by the supportive comment from the most childish person he knew. “You really think so, Rich?” 

Richie smirked and wrapped an arm around the smaller kid’s shoulders. “Of course Eddie, any girl we know would be lucky to have you,” He concluded. 

Eddies’ smile faltered just slightly as he looked back to the wood in front of him. “Yeah, she would.” He whispered sadly. Richie noticed the downing effect on his best friend’s mood and was about to mention it when he saw something flying towards them out of the corner of his eye.

Eddie let out a squeal when something made contact with the back of his head. The kid fell forwards, falling over to the ground. “Oh fuck!” Richie exclaimed as he leaned forward, placing hands on Eddie's shoulders. Both boys looked behind them to where the rock had come from. 

There stood Bowers and his gang with a disgusting smirk on his face. “Hey, you fuckin’ fairies,” He spat, walking closer to the two boys. Out of the corner of his eye, Richie noticed the blood leaking down Eddie’s neck where the rock had him. The two smaller boys stood, Richie, putting himself in front of his friend.

“Don’t fucking touch us,” Richie yelled as he backed the two of them into the wooden plank behind them, accidentally trapping them in. Bowers smirked, joking looking around them dramatically. 

“What are you going to do about it, you fucking loser. You’re too weak to do anything about it,” Richie could feel Eddie shaking against his back and heard the zipper of his fanny pack sliding open. He knew it was so that he had quick access to his inhaler; he always did that when they faced Bowers, he always ended up needing it. 

“I’m going to fuck you up! That’s what I’m going to do!” Richie said puffing out his chest. 

Eddie’s eyes widened, grabbing Richie's arm and pulling him back down, away from Bowers so they were no longer touching chests, “Richie!” He whispered. 

“Richie! Richie!,” Bowers mocked while laughing loudly. Eddie made an almost inaudible whining sound, it hurt Richie to know how scared the other kid was. “Don't worry Ed’s,” Richie said as he gently grasped Eddie’s wrist from behind him. 

“Oh, I’m not going to do anything, huh?” Bowers laughed as the other two smirked from behind him. “I'm not going to do anything, am I Tozier?” He reached forward and wrapped a hand up in Riches’s shirt, pulling the lanky kid to the ground. 

Richie smacked the ground hard, giving him road rash on his left cheek and cracking his glasses. Richie saw Eddie try to come to join him on the ground when he was trapped in a headlock by Patrick Hockstetter and Belch Higgins. 

Richie felt his heart drop, he didn't know how he would live with himself if they hurt Eddie. Suddenly a fist was slammed into his face, but he could care less. Eddie was trying to scream at all of the older boys around them, but they were holding so tight on his neck that he was losing his ability to speak and breathe. His face was turning blue and that hurt so much more than the fist repeatedly slamming into his face. 

Bowers was trying to hit harder, annoyed and angry when he wasn't getting any reaction. Richie seemed to come back to reality with a particularly hard punch. “Let go of him!! He can’t breathe! You're gonna kill him!” Richie screamed, desperation pouring from his throat. He was absolutely mortified at the idea of Eddie getting hurt. However, he was even more horrified when he looked up to Bower’s smirking face above him.

“Oh? So that’s what you’re so worried about? You fucking fairy, I’m literally punching you in the fucking face, but you’re worried about the other piece of shit over there? Alrighty, then Tozier. I might just to pay your fuckin’ girl-boy a visit,” He smirked. Richie's eyes widened in pure fear. 

He tried to get up to follow Bowers and stop him from getting to Eddie. However, as soon as Bowers let go of him, he had two fat lugs of Hockstetter and Higgens on his ass. “Get the fuck off of me!! Don’t touch him, Bowers, don’t you fucking dare touch him!!” The two other boys positioned Richie in such a way that all he could see was Bowers walking up to a stunned Eddie. 

The other kid’s face was still a light blue color as he laid on the ground shoving his inhaler into his face. “EDDIE RUN!!” He screamed, but he knew that the boy couldn't hear him. Eddie had told him what it was like when he had an asthma attack. All his senses dulled as he tried to focus on his breathing, there was no way he could hear Richies cries. 

He only got in one breath from his inhaler before the device was ripped away from him and thrown across the road, far away from all of them. “EDDIE! Bowers, You can't do that, you'll kill him!”

The larger kid rolled his eyes at the others pathetic screams, glaring back at Richie being shoved to the ground. “Will you please put something in his mouth? I’m so tired of hearing him talk.” Bowers turned around to look at Eddie who was still trying to catch his breath. 

He didn't care to watch as Patrick took off his own sock and shoved it in Richie’s mouth. The two bullies behind him rose Richie to his knees and held his hands behind his back. Belch held his head, forcing him to look at the scene unfolding before him. Richie was about six feet away from his best friend, too far to even kick his legs out if he could somehow get off his knees. 

Richie's heart shattered as he could only watch while his best friend sat barely breathing at the feet of their abuser. He had never wanted something so much in his entire short life. He would give up every birthday and Christmas for the next ten years, his whole life, even if it meant Eddie would be left alone right now. 

He felt something wet hit his lip and only noticed then that Bower’s punches had given him a nose bleed. 

Bowers was just looking down at the kid trying to breathe in front of him, not saying anything and not doing anything, this was almost more scary than him actually beating them up. Richie tried his best to scream at the top of his lungs but the disgusting sock in his mouth prevented any actual words from coming out. 

It took maybe about a minute for Eddie to come back and take hold of what was actually happening. He slowly looked up at Bowers who was standing over him. Before he even got a second to say anything Bowers pulled back his leg and with as much force as he could muster, he pushed it forward and slammed his steel toe boot into Eddie’s face. 

The force of the blow sent Eddie falling backward, blood spewing from his face and his head hit on the board behind him. As Eddie was falling backward, Richie saw the blood that came from his face and it horrified him that he couldn't see what the exact source of the bleeding was. 

Richie could hear the violent coughs that sounded like they were painful coming from his friend’s mouth. As much as it hurt Richie to do so, he wanted to see Eddie’s face. As bad as it was probably bruised and bloody, Richie wanted to be able to see him and tell the younger boy with his eyes that he was going to be okay. 

Richie could only watch in horror as punch after punch was landed on Eddie's body. The boy was struggling, trying to protect himself from the blows while also trying to scramble away. Seeing Eddie in such a panic was more painful than the pressure that was building in his shoulder from it being pulled back. 

However, everything soon got worse and Richie was sure he would stop breathing. Eddie slowly began to stop fighting back, his body's frequent movements changed to barely moving before stopping altogether. 

Bowers was now just beating the still body of his best friend. Eddie wasn't moving the slightest, Richie couldn’t even see his chest rising and falling with the oxygen that he hoped was entering Eddie’s body. 

Bowers didn't stop. He kept hitting him and hitting him and hitting him. Richie was beginning to wonder if Eddie would even survive this. Eddie was so fragile just normally, Richie didn't know if his body could handle this kind of treatment. 

Richie started screaming again, hoping it would be enough to get Bowers to back the fuck off. Thankfully, Bowers stopped. He stood up straight, panting heavily as he cracked his neck. He looked down at Eddie’s motionless body, blood all over him and surrounding his head. It was enough to make Richie want to throw up. 

He kicked Eddie’s body full force, causing the kid to move slightly on the ground. That seemed to give the older kid an idea. Bowers kept kicking him, ignoring Richie's screams, until he was able to push Eddie under the boards of the kissing bridge and roll him down the steep, bumpy hill, into the forest. 

Richie screamed louder watching his friend’s fragile body roll down the hill. Bowers turned back to him not that Richie was worried about it. Bowers took his knife out of his pants pocket, opening it and holding it to Riches’s neck, causing the younger kid to shrink back to prevent his skin from getting cut. 

“If you tell anyone, that we were the ones that did this, I will come back and I  _ will _ kill him. And I will make you watch, and I will make sure to rub his blood all over you so you know that it is your fault.” He talked like a crazy, sick person like he enjoyed this. Richie was sure he was capable of following through. 

“Now, me and my boys, are going to walk back to town, you will not move until we are out of sight, or we will come back and kill him now.” Richie felt the pressure on his arms lessening as the two boys behind him stood but he still couldn't move because of the knife on his neck. 

“Do I make myself clear?” He said with power in his voice. Richie nodded as much as he could with the knife on him. The knife was retracted and the older boys began to walk backward, slowing making their way down the road. 

Richie couldn't take his eyes off the stop where Eddie went over the rail. The smaller body was down there, bleeding, hurting, barely breathing, and Richie was sitting here, doing nothing while his best friend might be dying. 

Richie didn't know what he would do if this ended up killing the poor boy who was currently out of sight. He probably wouldn't even tell the police what happened, he would go straight to Bowers and kill him himself. No mercy. 

The lanky boy just wanted to go down to the creek and carry him to safety, but he wouldn't dare with the lingering threat that was still breathing down his neck. He knew Bowers was crazy and he knew that he would kill them if Richie riled him up. 

He couldn't care less about his own safety, but he refused to be responsible for the death of his best friend. He would never do anything that would cause Eddie more pain than he was undoubtedly already is. He just wanted to take all his pain away, but he wouldn't be able to do any of that if he got Eddie killed before he could get him to one of their houses. 

Richie looked back up to where the three older boys were retreating but were shocked to see that they had already left. Who knows how long he's been sitting there while he could be down there with Eddie. He cursed himself as he scurried to his feet and threw the upper half of his body against the railing, looking down where Eddie was thrown over. 

The smaller body was curled into himself, barely moving, barely breathing. Richie couldn't see a lot from where he was, but he could see that a rock, slightly farther up the hill, was covered in blood. He also noticed the growing puddle of blood around his best friend's head. Richie’s stomach dropped. 

“Eddie!”

He rushed down the hill so fast that he swore he was going to trip. He slid down, stopping himself right beside his best friend who was now groaning and wheezing. Richie kneeled how beside Eddie’s head, his hands shaking in fear. 

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! What do I do?! Eddie, what the fuck do I do?!” His voice was weak and cracking, trying to get Eddie's attention. The boy was awake but not necessarily aware of what was going on around him. 

Richie almost threw up when he finally saw the entirety of Eddie's face. It was covered in blood and swollen to the point that he hardly even looked like Eddie anymore. When he breathed in his shaking breaths, a mix of blood and spit would spray from his mouth and litter the ground under him. 

“FUCK!” Richie yelled and he stood up, running his hands through his hair and pacing through the leaves on the ground. He had no idea what to do. Eddie was injured and they were so far away from a hospital. He hadn't heard anyone drive by who could help them either. He couldn't carry Eddie up the hill, he's given up piggyback rides countless times but he definitely couldn't get him up the hill alone. It wasn't even an option to leave Eddie there when he went to go get help. Anything could happen to Eddie out here with no one to protect him. What if Bowers came back? 

“What the fuck do I do?” He screamed into the sky. God, Eddie was so much better at this than him. He wished Eddie could tell him what to do. Then it struck Richie that he might not be able to get Eddie where he needed to be, but he could do something to help him a little bit. 

The taller boy got down on his hands and knees running his hands through the leaves, Eddies wheezing breaths the only noise he could hear. Finally, after a few minutes of searching, he found what he was looking for. His fingers gripped the plastic inhaler and turned around excitedly. 

“Look, Eddie! I got your inhaler, you're gonna be okay Eds!” 

He brought the device closer to the kid’s lips but was surprised to see that Eddie was sealing his mouth close and gently pushing Richie’s hand away. 

“C-C-Cle..an...n it...C-C..Che..e..” Richie could almost hear his heart shatter. Eddie hasn't called him Chee since they were probably about eight years old. He couldn't help but let out a slight sob at the pain in Eddie’s voice. He was just now realizing how dangerous this was and the emotions that were finally coming out. 

At least he could see that Eddie was still being himself. Still afraid of germs when he might actually be moments from death. The thought made Richie shudder. It was definitely not the time to think about that right now, he had to focus on getting Eddie out of here. 

“O-Okay Eds, I’ll clean it,” His whispered, dutifully cleaning the mouthpiece with his shirt. After thoroughly inspecting it and making sure that there were no visually contaminants on it, he brought it to Eddie’s lips, ready to force it in if Eddie decided to be difficult. 

Thankfully, the smaller boy opened his mouth right away with a big wheeze, allowing Richie to give him the important medication to help him get his breathing back on track. As soon as Richie pulled the device away, the wheezing in Eddie’s lungs begins to slow, much to Richie’s excitement. 

That excitement was replaced with dread when Eddie used the small amount of breath that he had back to begin sobbing loudly into the leaves. Richie almost dropped the inhaler back on the ground from how sudden the switch was. Luckily, he was able to save it and prevent himself from having to clean it again. Now he had to turn his attention back to his injured friend on the ground. 

“Eddie... Please don't cry, You're gonna be okay, I promise, Spaghetti.” Richie crouched down even farther, bringing his face directly into Eddie’s line of sight so that Eddie could see him clearly. 

Eddie continued to cry, trying to curl into himself, only causing himself to squeal in pain. Richie brought his hands to the smaller boy’s face, holding him in place hoping to help him to focus on him. 

“You’re going to be okay Eds, please don't cry, please” Richie begged as tears began to flow down his own cheeks. He was so unbelievably worried about his best friend. He really had no idea how bad Bowers had hurt him and he had no clue how he was going to get Eddie to a hospital. 

“Ch--Che...e, it h-h-hurts..soo b-bad,” The injured boy cried into Richie’s hands, trying and failing to keep his breath under control, Richie prepared himself to give him the inhaler again when he was told.

“I k-know Spaghetti, I’m going to go find help, okay?” Definitely NOT something that Richie wanted to do. He couldn't bear to leave his friend bleeding and crying on the side on him covered in dirt and leaves. 

“N-NO, p-please R-R-Richie, don’t l-l-leave... I’m s-so s-s-scared,” He cried louder, hoping to convince Richie to stay right here and never leave. The boy started panicking, not able to hold in a breath long enough for his lungs to get the oxygen that they desperately needed. If he kept going at this rate, he was going to work himself into a panic attack and they really didn't need one of those right now. 

Eddie often gets panic attacks, but he didn't know it. He thought they were all asthma attacks, Richie knew this for a fact, he saw his mom have enough panic attacks and knew how to help someone descale one. He noticed that Eddie’s inhaler wouldn't help him while he was having one. He would use the same tactics he used to help his mother on Eddie and they worked, most of the time. Richie had gotten pretty good at understanding when Eddie was having a panic attack and when he was having an asthma attack. 

He wanted to bring it up to his friend but wasn't sure he would react so he's been waiting for the right time, and this certainly was not the right time. 

“I’m not going far Eds, I’m just going to go up to the road so that someone will see us. You’ll still be able to hear me and I can still hear you okay?” Eddie continued to cry into Richie’s large hands, trying to calm himself down enough to speak. After a few moments, his wet eyes looked up to Richies and nodded subtly. 

Richie smiled and leaned forward to place a soft kiss on the boy’s forehead (accidentally getting a bit of blood on his lower lip), a silent promise to keep him safe. “I’ll be quick, I promise, Bear,” Richie was shocked at himself, he hasn't called Eddie that since they were about five years old. The smaller boy didn't seem to mind though, a slight smile on his bloody lips told Richie that he was comforted by the name. 

Richie gently pulled his hands away, setting Eddie’s head back on the ground with as much care as possible. He stood up slowly, as to not scare the boy under him. Now that he was once again standing over the boy’s smaller body, he could see the bruises that littered his whole body, even his legs which Richie didn't see get hit. The blood under his head was only slightly larger than it had been earlier, still not something he wanted to see. 

Eddie's hair was saturated with blood, probably starting to stain the side on his face that was once again on the ground. Richie could see a bunch of scrapes on his arms and legs from where he struggled while they were upon the road, all of them were bleeding slightly. Richie didn't even know Eddie’s body could hold that much blood. 

Richie ran up the hill up to the road, struggling slightly to get his footing and then pull himself over the carved up boards. He quickly scanned the area, hoping to see any cars coming down the read that he could scream at to get them to stop. There were no cars, he hadn't seen or heard any cars since they had been down there. 

Richie was starting to feel helplessness tug at his stomach. Eddie was in so much pain and for all Richie knew, an inch from death and there's nothing he can do about it. His best friend is in so much danger right now and all Richie can do is cry as he watches for cars that are just not going to come. 

Richie started sobbing, falling down on his knees at the feeling of dread bringing him down, he had never felt so powerless in his whole life. He would give anything and everything just to be able to get Eddie to a hospital right now. He would give his own life to help Eddie at this very moment. He was failing him, he couldn't protect him, and now he couldn't even get him some help. 

Richie didn't realize how loud he was sobbing until he heard very quiet voices coming from down the road towards the Quarry. He lifted his head from where he had it buried in between his knees and saw two familiar people walking down the road towards him. 

“BILL, STAN!” He screamed as he bolted to his feet and ran towards the other two boys. They seemed surprised as Richie ran towards them and stopped directly in front of him. 

Stan looked at him with a cocked eyebrow, “Where were you guys? We went to the Quarry when we finished our project and you two weren't there. Hey, where’s Eddie? Are you crying? I don't think I have ever seen you cry, have you ever seen him cry, Bill?” Questions were being fired at him and Richie really didn't have time for it. 

“Shut the fuck up! Bowers got us before we could get there and Eddie is really fucking hurt! We have to get him to a motherfucking hospital right now! Come on!” He ran back to where Eddie had been thrown over the bridge and jumped right over the wooden barriers. He could hear the other two following behind him with stumbling steps, followed by two gasps when they saw their friend laying in the leaves. 

Richie got to Eddie first, crouching in front of him and putting a hand on his face keeping his eyes on his friends clumsily making their way over the board. “Eds! Bill and Stan the man are here! We’re gonna get you out of here, okay?” When he didn't get a response he looked down to his friend’s face, horrified to see his bloody face early still and his eyes closed. He shot back up to his feet and started pacing just as the other two reached them. 

“FUCK! Fuck fuck fuck! He's not awake guys! What are we going to do!! What if he's dead! Oh my God,” He cried. Richie was fully freaking out, running his hands through his hair, pulling out strands each time. 

Stan knelt down by Eddie and placed a hand on his friend's chest, counting his heartbeat and breathing. “He's not dead Richie, but we have to get him to a hospital fast, he's lost a lot of blood and he's not breathing very well.” That did not make the tallest boy feel any better. 

“How are we going to do that? The hospital is like a mile from here and there is no house around here where we could use a phone!” Richie exclaimed.

They all thought for a moment before Bill spoke up, he was always the ideas guy. “R-Rich, we’re going to p-p-put E-Eddie on your b-back and we’ll push on his back to h-help you get him up the hill. While you c-carry him, we’ll run ahead to g-get help,” Bill stuttered. Richie had to admit, it was a great plan. He could carry Eddie for hours as long as he wasn't going up or downhill. 

Richie was nervous about it though. “He’s passed out though, what if I drop him and he hits his head and gets worse?” He said anxiously, the other two boys didn't really know how to respond. Richie is always confident in everything he does, he never thinks that he can't do something. He always tries and often excels in everything. 

After thinking about it, Stan knew why he felt like this. This wasn’t just some stupid prank or something he wanted to do for bragging rights. This was  _ Eddie _ , his best friend. This wasn't something that he just had to be embarrassed about if he failed, this was Eddie's life. It was so much more serious. 

The curly-haired boy took a few steps forward and places his hands on his friend’s shoulder to make sure he was paying attention and got the message. “You can do this Rich, you have to. Eddie is really counting on you.” Richie's face stayed in a worried expression for a few moments before determination really began to take over. He steeled his expression and gave a short nod, causing the other two to smile. 

They looked down at their injured friend and steadied themselves, preparing for the difficult task ahead of them. The two shorter boys gently grabbed Eddie by the arms and tried to get him closer into a sitting position. Richie knelt on the ground, waiting for the weight of his best friend on his back. 

Bill and Stan easily maneuvered Eddie around by grabbing his chest and his legs. They both tried their best not to look at his face, just the sight was too horrible for them to look at. Finally, Richie felt Eddie being placed on his back and immediately brought his hands back to grab his legs to prevent him from falling off. 

Eddie’s head rested on the older boy’s shoulder with his face pointed away from Richie’s. Richie was able to stand with little difficulty, Eddie didn't weigh very much, he should really bring that up to him sometime. He really needs to be fattened up. 

Bill walked around to be face to face with his friend, determination set in his face, but not without a little bit of fear and worry. Bill, ever the mothering type when it comes to the other losers. Stan still had him beat in that department though. They took turns of who cared more. 

“W-We’re go-going to su-su-support him from b-behind. Make s-s-sure to lean forward a b-bit so he doesn't f-f-fall when we ge-get to the t-top.” Richie nodded, fear beginning to crowd in his mind, but he pushed that aside for now. Eddie’s safety was more important. 

Bill went back to stand with Stan behind the other two and Richie could feel both their hands pushing on Eddie's back, not forcing him to start yet but just preparing for what no doubt was going to be the hardest thing they've ever done. 

He looked up the hill and for the first time, he absolutely felt like he couldn't do it. It was so steep, he had trouble climbing it by himself, let alone with a whole second body on his back. He was starting to shake, the dread and fear of failing and the fear of what would happen to Eddie if he failed slowly filled his mind. He was about to tell the other losers about what an utter disgrace he was when Stan’s words filled his mind. 

“ _ You can do this Rich, you have to, Eddie is really counting on you _ ,” 

Stan was right, Eddie needed him right now and he would be damned if he failed him without even trying. With that thought in mind, he took the first step up the steep hill in front of him, thankful when he felt the other Losers pushing him forward. 

It felt like they were walking up a mountain with no climbing gear. It felt nearly impossible, even with the help of Bill and Stan behind him. He could feel the dread once again spilling into his stomach. He had to try his best to set aside his feelings and just try his best to push himself up the Mount Everest, in front of him. 

Each step felt like an impossible climb, but each time he proved that to be wrong. With the other Losers at his back, before he knew it he was already halfway up the hill before exhaustion started to take over. As much as he liked to brag, he didn't have the huge muscles that he boasted about and was not immune to feeling tired. 

Even with Eddie having the lightest body out of the four of them, he still struggled. It was still difficult to maneuver himself in a straight line while also keeping Eddie level on his back along with having the others pushing along. 

He reached out one in a risky more to grab one of the boards on the kissing bridge to help pull himself up. Thankfully, Stan was able to make up for the loss of stability on Eddie's body and keep the unconscious loser in place. 

Finally, after what seemed like ages, all four of the boys were over the board and standing on the road underneath them. Richie wanted to look over the side to see how far they came but he didn't want to risk losing grip on his Spaghetti. 

Bill was panting in exhaustion, but still ready to go right away. “W-We’ll run ahead, ju-just k-k-k-keep making your wa-wa-way to the hospital. If we d-don’t find anyone, we will m-m-meet you th-there.” Richie nodded in understanding, watching his friends ran ahead, and he could only hope that they would find someone to help them before that. 

Richie cautiously put one foot in front of the other as he slowly began to make his mile-long walk towards the building that could save his best friend’s life. 

About ten minutes into the trip, with only about three or five minutes to go. He still hasn't seen his friends so he assumed that he was going to have to make it all the way there. He just hoped that there would already be a gurney waiting to take Eddie right into their care. 

“R…..Ri….R…..Chee?” He heard Eddie mumbling right next to his ear and almost dropped him out of fright. He leaned his head over gently, trying his best not to lose his balance that was already pretty shaky. He felt his headrest lightly on Eddies, letting the other know he was there, 

“I’m right here Eds. We’re going to get you to the hospital, I promise you, you’ll be alright. We’re almost there,” 

“H-H...H...ur...urts.”Richie could feel the tears falling down his face, but tried his best to keep the sound out of his voice. 

“I know that it hurts Eddie, but we're almost there. You’ll feel b-better soon, I p-promise.” He encouraged. “Can you try to stay awake, Eddie-bear?” he asked gently. 

“D-Do….n-n..o-o-t c-a...ll me t-that e-e...ver a-a-a...gain,” He stuttered out causing Richie to laugh, despite the dire situation. 

Richie rounded the last corner, causing the hospital to come into view. He could see Stan and Bill at the front door beside a few nurses who held a gurney between them. 

“Look Eds, it's right there. You're going to be okay.” The sight of two people running at him with a gurney had never looked so good. Yeah, he was going to be okay. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Now with his memories returned, Richie could remember the weeks in the hospital, watching over Eddie as he recovered. The awkward stand-offs with Mrs. K as she glared at him from Eddie’s bedside while the two children talked. 

None of them had realized how truly close to death Eddie had been. Due to the trauma to his head, he had a pretty significant brain bleed along with some swelling as well. Thankfully they were able to control the bleeding and the swelling so Eddie was going to make a full recovery. 

He also had a broken nose, bruised spleen, black eye, along with other bruises and cuts. Moisture had also somehow gotten in his lungs so he was being watched for signs of pneumonia. 

It appeared they had just gotten there in the nick of time. Richie was pretty sure that the only reason Mrs. K hadn't banished him then was that the only reason Eddie survived was because they had gotten him to the hospital in time. 

Richie smiled softly at the memory, while it is absolutely horrifying that something like that had happened to Eddie, the event had definitely made the two of them closer. Which was a very big part of Richie figuring out his sexuality as early as he did. 

He never knew if Eddie felt the same way about him. Oh, how he hoped he did, though. He wanted Eddie to come back with him, come live with him in New York. He would cancel all of his shows that were coming up if he could bring Eddie home and take care of him. 

But of course, Eddie had a wife, Myra. He had a life to go back home to. He would have people who missed him, people who loved him. Richie...didn't have that. He was on his own for the most part, besides his managers and his agents and Richie doesn't really count them, they didn't choose to be with him. They're just there for the money. 

Richie never made lasting relationships and his friendships were all forgotten as soon as he left Derry. He never really noticed how lonely his life was until he came back and re-met all of his friends again. Everything came back to him and he missed them all over, even if they were willing to let Eddie die in the clown cave. 

Richie could feel himself getting angry at the thought of leaving Eddie in that dark, decrepit place when a movement brought him back to the present. His hand that Riche was holding was gripping his hand just slightly. Richie froze, Eddie was about to wake up, he thinks so anyway. 

Richie was so excited to be able to talk to the man again. It's been a lonely few days of talking to himself in this small white room. Richie stood up from his chair and leaned forward so that he was looking into Eddie’s face. 

He was trying to open his eyes and making small groaning sounds around the tube that was down his throat. His eyes fluttered open lightly and, looking around the room slowly before landing on the man at his bedside. 

“Hey, Eds, you're at the hospital, you're going to be okay,” Richie said gently, not yet calling for the doctor but having the Nurse Button in his hand ready to go if Eddie needed it. Eddie didn't make any sign of showing that he understood what Richie had said to him, he was pretty blank now that Richie was thinking about it. 

Richie was about to say something again to try to get Eddie's attention when some beeping interrupted him. He looked up to one of the monitors that were keeping track of Eddie's heart rate. His heart rate was through the roof, 143 beats per minute. Now Richie wasn't a doctor, but he knew that was bad and much too fast. He pressed the call button but realized it probably isn't necessary when another machine started beeping and then after that, a whole bunch of alarms started going off. 

Richie raced back to look at Eddie's blank face and could now see tears falling down his face. “Eddie, calm down okay? We’re okay everything is okay." This wasn't working. "Eds please, I need you to calm down,” Richie realized he probably wasn't helping but he just couldn't bring himself to calm down either, they had come so far. He didn't know what he would do if something happened to Eddie now. 

Suddenly he felt hands pulling him away from Eddie's body. A sea of nurses and doctors spilled into the room and tried pushing him out of the way. He felt his one hand that was still holding Eddie's being squeezed by the smaller man. Eddie wanted him to stay there, what if he was the only thing helping Eddie hold on? 

Richie fought back, pushing the nurses aside gently so he could get back to Eddie's bedside. “Eddie its okay, I’m here. I would never leave you. Eddie!” Richie was panicking as the doctors and nurses were pushing him out of the door. 

The two were still connected by the hands, but that was soon stopped when a nurse disconnect the death grip that Eddie had on Richie’s hand. 

“Sir! You have to get out! We have to take care of Mr. Kaspbrak,” The doctor explained as she pushed Richie to the door. 

“NO! You can't! He needs me! You don't understand! He needs me!” His screams fell on deaf ears as the door was slammed in his face and he was left alone, in the hallway, only being able to listen to the scurrying behind the locked door.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

  
  


Richie was pacing outside of the hospital room, perking up every time a nurse left the room but getting deflated when he was still not allowed in. By his count, there should only be one more nurse and the doctor in there right now, and he couldn't wait for them to get out. 

Why couldn't they see how much Eddie needed him in there? Sure they couldn't feel the grip that the injured man had on him, but it should have been obvious how stressed out he was. Why would they take him away when he could have easily calmed the man down without medical intervention. 

Richie knew once again that his anger was misguided once again. The doctors obviously couldn't know these things, but he was just so angry. Eddie was probably so much more scared than he needed to be. Richie knew he could have calmed the other man down, but they didn't let him. 

He knew that the doctors knew what was best for Eddie. Richie himself wasn't even sure what was wrong with him but he does know that Eddie would have been a lot more relaxed had they let the other man stay. 

Richie had hoped there wasn't something wrong with his chest or something that made his heart rate shoot up. Eddie was prone to panic attacks so maybe that was what happened. Still, not a good situation but not as bad as an infection from the sewers would be. 

The door opened again to reveal the doctor and thankfully he actually looked open to talking to the older man. He rushed over to be right in front of the doctor, ready with the questions that were about to shoot out of his mouth. The older man held up a hand to stop him before he could even start. 

“He's going to be okay, he had a panic attack. We checked up on all of his charts and his stitches. We took out the tubes and took him off some of the monitors, he is in the recovery phase.” Richie could feel the dopey smile on his face and was only more encouraged when the doctor gave him a light smile back. 

“He’s awake right now and asking for you. But be gentle, he is still very weak and in a fragile state. We had to give him some medication to help him calm down so he's not entirely...aware, I’d say, but I'm sure you can deal with that. We’ll have to talk to him later about discharging, but for now, you can go see him.” The doctor gave Richie a pat on the shoulder while he stood in the hallway, starstruck. 

He didn't expect Eddie to be awake after everything that happened, but God was he happy about it. He thought about some things the doctor said. Weak, fragile He had to hold in a laugh if only he knew how strong and brave Eddie really was.

Richie turned again to look at the door. Now it was his turn to be brave. He gently pushed it open to see a nurse checking one of the machines and Eddie laying back on the bed with his eyes closed and his breathing even. 

Richie silently made his way over to the bed. He brought his chair back over from the corner of the room where it was shoved after he was forced out of the room. He sat down close enough that he was able to lean his upper body on the bed. 

The new weight on the bed was enough to catch Eddie's attention. The younger man moved his head over to be facing Richie at his side. He moved his hand only slightly to be held by the other man. Their fingers intertwined together, causing Richie's heart to skip a beat. 

Eddie's eyes were soft but Richie could see the lingering fear and stress. Richie could feel his composure beginning to crack, but he wanted more than anything to be able to hold it all in so that he could be strong for Eddie. 

“Hey Eds, are you feeling okay?” He only realized after how much of a stupid question that was. Of course, he wasn't okay, he was in the hospital, barely strong enough to stay awake on his own. 

Eddie didn't seem to mind the stupidity of the question though. He squeezed the man's hand a little tighter and let a small smile grace his lips. “I’m okay,” He said, barely above a whisper. Richie let out an almost silent sigh of relief, just hearing Eddie’s voice made him feel so much better, it really solidified the fact that he was alive and that things were going to be okay, hopefully. 

“Good,” Richie said while smiling stupidly. He tried to control it but he just couldn't contain himself. He was just so happy that Eddie was there and talking to him. He was so close to not even being there at all. 

They both looked at each other for a moment, just staring while enjoying each other's company. Richie wanted to talk to Eddie about how he felt, wanted to tell him about how much he loved him and how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. 

Richie could feel the confession building in his throat. The last thing he wanted was for the words to spill out like word vomit. But he also didn't know know how Eddie would react to what he was going to say. He didn't want Eddie to be disgusted at him, he just got him back. 

Since they had come back to Derry, all of the feelings he felt as a kid kept coming back in large waves. He felt like that thirteen-year-old kid who was hopelessly crushing after his best friend. Every other relationship in his entire life was dulled and couldn't even compare to what he was feeling for Eddie right now. 

Richie made the conscious decision that he simply couldn't tell Eddie how he felt. No matter how much he wanted to, the thought of never seeing Eddie again because the smaller man hated him was too terrible to even consider. In reality, he knew Eddie wasn't like that and would never berate him for how he felt. 

However, he couldn't bear making Eddie uncomfortable every time they were together. He wanted their friendship to stick out of Derry even if they lived in different parts of the country. He didn't want to ruin the chances of that happening. He wanted to be friends with Eddie for the rest of their lives, the chance of him ruining that was too high. 

“You’re thinking too hard.” The voice was like a gentle wave, calming the thrashing rapids that were taking over his mind. A ray of sunshine in the darkness of his mind. Richie brought his eyes back up to meet Eddie's, the sight almost made him crack right then and there. 

When he looked into Eddie’s eyes, it wasn't the injured man in the bed who had been fighting for his life hours earlier, looking at him. It was the little kid who loved to be with his friends but hated all of the germs they carried around too. It was the brightness that came whenever Richie bought him ice cream with the last of the pennies in his pocket. It was the trust that looked up at him when Richie had to help him with his inhaler at the bridge, the protectiveness whenever Richies was berated for anything from Henry Bowers. 

It was simpler times when future wives and girlfriends, sexuality, self-doubt, and fear were only small parts of their relationship. A time that Richie would beg to have back for only a moment. When the world didn't feel so heavy on his shoulders and every thought didn't have a consequence. When he didn't have to worry about the next few days when they would be separated for God knows how long. 

Richie could feel himself drifting closer, he just couldn't help himself no matter how much he wanted to. He didn't want to ruin everything, but the pull of everything his thirteen-year-old self wanted was just too strong. He searched Eddie’s face, looking for anything that would indicate to him how bad of an idea this was, but all he saw was… Eddie. 

The man who was too scared to stab Spider Stanly’s head, but brave enough to throw a pointed fence post right into the mouth of their most feared torturer. The boy who comforted him when Bowers told the whole arcade that he was a fairy and he was too afraid to deny it. The loser-turned-lover who despite his own fears, loved his friends with his whole heart and helped them avoid the dangers of daily life. The boy who helped clean Ben up the day that they met him, regardless of not knowing his medical history or what diseases could have affected his blood. 

Richie felt it before he could process how close they had gotten. His lips were just barely brushing Eddie's. The man's lips were soft, albeit a bit chapped. Not as soft as a woman’s, but by far the plumpest male lips he had ever had the honor of kissing. One of Eddie's hands reached around to hold the back of Richie’s neck and only then did the older man really relax into the kiss. 

He brought one of his own hands up to grasp Eddie’s cheek, the one that hadn't been scarred from the knife to his face. They moved their lips together like a passionate dance. There was no battle for dominance like Richie had always imagined there would be when he kissed Eddie. There was no rush, only soft little nudges here and there, slow and relaxed, almost like they had been doing it for years. 

They parted slowly. Richie opened his eyes to see Eddie completely relaxed into the pillow beneath him, his eyes opening slowly, only to stop halfway and close again. He had just the smallest smile on his face, easy to miss by someone who hadn't known, the man when they were kids. 

Richie’s mind started spiraling. He wanted to jump up and give Eddie the strongest hug that he could with him in the state he was in. He wanted to run to the friends he was still upset with and tell them that he finally got his dream partner. He wanted to bring Eddie to New York and marry him within the week. He would have his dream wed-....wedding. 

Everything suddenly came crashing down on him. Eddie was married and Richie just forced Eddie to cheat on his wife who he loved. He was sure Eddie had only kissed him because he felt uncomfortable and didn't was Richie to be embarrassed. 

Richie had just ruined  _ everything _ . 

“Fuck… Fuck I...I’m so sorry Eds,” He said pathetically as he pushed his head down into the mattress of the bed, trying his best to hold back his tears. He let go of Eddie's hand and rand bothe of his own hands through his hands, pulling at the strands in frustration. He just got Eddie and all of his friends back and he had most certainly ruined it now. None of the other losers would want to be around him after what he had done to Eddie. 

Richie could just feel a desperate tear slide down his face when he felt a smaller hand on top of his hand. The other hand was rubbing soft circles into the hair while Richie was still pulling at it himself. He was too embarrassed to lift his head up and face Eddie. He couldn't handle the pity that was no doubt filling the other’s features. 

Richie was about to stand so he could get out of the room without having to look at the discomfort on the others face, that would be much too difficult for him when the soft quiet voice filled his ears once again. 

“Richie, stop crying and look at me you idiot.” accompanied by a gentle chuckle sounded in the room. Richie slowly lifted his head, trying to wipe his tears before Eddie could see them, although his eyes were probably red as ever so it's not like it really mattered anyway. 

The smirk on Eddie's filled him with a little bit of hope that not everything had been ruined. At least the man wasn't mad. No one wanted to deal with an angry Eddie. 

“If I didn't want you to kiss me, you definitely wouldn't have been able to,” He was right of course, as per usual. Eddie would never let himself be kissed if he didn’t want it. He wouldn't allow Richie to kiss him if he didn’t want it, but he had a wife and a life back home, so what does this mean exactly? He was sure his confusion showed clearly on his face. 

“Look, Rich, I like you, I think I have since we were kids, but I've been having a hard time coming to terms with it. Honestly, I didn't even remember that I liked men until a few days ago.” he shrugged slightly with a small smile on his face. 

The younger man reached a hand up and wiped a tear from Richie’s scruffy face. Richie couldn't help but laugh at the situation he found himself in. Here he was at the bed of his lifelong crush, whom he had just kissed and now he was crying about it. He must look ridiculous. Eddie wormed his hand to be clasped in Richies once again, holding on tighter this time. 

Richie brought his eyes up to meet Eddies again. “What about your wife?” He asked quietly. He was most certainly did not condone cheating. His father had done it once or twice to his mother and he saw how that could truly destroy a person. He wouldn't help the destruction of another person like that. 

Eddie rolled his eyes lightly, “I’ve had the divorce papers in the bottom drawer of my desk ready to go for the past year.” He squeezed Richie’s hand tighter. “I've just been too afraid to actually start anything. But when I think about you, I couldn't be more excited to get things started.” 

Richie could feel more tears welling up, the fact the Eddie was ready and willing to divorce his wife just to be with him was really overwhelming. Before the stunned man could utter a reply, two nurses came into the room, the female holding a clipboard in hand. 

“Hello Mr. Kaspbrak and Mr. Tozier,” The female nurse said, “We have to perform some testing on Mr. Kaspbrak's healing process so we are going to have to ask you to leave the room, sir,” The male nurse asked politely. Richie whipped his head over to the man in the bed with his eyes wide, he didn't want to leave Eddie for even a second. 

Eddie smiled slightly. “We can talk later Rich, I’ll still be here when you get back,” He gently let go of Richie’s hand, setting his own back on his chest. The older man nodded with a grimace on his face, unhappy with leaving the younger man, but not wanting to make a scene. He stood on shaky legs and started making his way to the door. 

“I'll be here as soon as they're done,” He said confidently, getting a nod from Eddie in response. 

When he reached the door, the male nurse made his way over to talk to Eddie while the female nurse addressed him. “Will you be overseeing Mr. Kaspbrak’s recovery for the next couple of months?” She asked with a smile. 

Richi, unable to be sure of an answer, looking over to Eddie for help. That would mean that they would have to be together constantly for the next couple of months, the other man would probably have to move in with him in California. Is that what Eddie wanted? Was this too fast? When he looked over for Eddies help all he received in reply was a sly wink. 

He knew his answer.

“Yes… uh, yeah I’ll be taking care of him,”

He couldn't have smiled wider.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my story! I hope you enjoyed reading just as much as I enjoyed writing. Please leave me a comment as they really help me to continue writing. Would anyone be interested in part two? Is that something you would like? Or should I just leave it here? 
> 
> Thank you to my beta reader, Lady Amalthea. She really is a doll and is an amazing writer her self! Definitely check out her writings! If anyone is interested I also have other writings but they are all Hankcon from the DBH fandom if you're into that. 
> 
> Anyway, that enough promotion. Thanks again for reading!! Please let me know what you think and if a second part would be a good idea or if I should just leave things as they are! Thank you and have a good day!


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